GRE prep online in the UAE: revise an Analytical Writing paragraph
When a practice essay feels too general, adding impressive vocabulary may leave the reasoning unchanged. A more useful revision asks what the paragraph claims, what supports it and how the example leads to the conclusion.
This lesson demonstrates that process with an original, unscored paragraph. It is not an official GRE response or a prediction of a 4.0, 5.0 or any other score.
Use the rubric to choose the revision
ETS evaluates the response as a whole, considering analysis, support, organisation and language. Its Analytical Writing scoring guide does not reduce the result to one trick, a fixed paragraph count or the presence of a concession.
For this exercise, focus only on developing a reason. Later, review the whole essay for its position, structure and clarity. Improving one paragraph does not establish a score for the complete response.
The original teaching task
Consider this claim: “Local governments should spend all library funding on digital resources.” Discuss your view and relevant consequences of the proposal. This is an original instructional task, not a quotation from the ETS topic pool.
A first draft might say:
Libraries should not spend everything on digital resources because some people need physical books. Libraries are important for everyone, so both kinds of resources are needed.
The position is visible, but the support is thin. The paragraph repeats the conclusion without showing the consequence of an all-digital policy.
Develop a specific case and explain its relevance
A revised teaching paragraph could read:
A library should consider access before moving its entire budget to digital resources. Suppose a resident has no reliable device at home and can visit the library only briefly after work. A printed book that can be borrowed for several days offers access that an online-only collection may not provide. This does not show that digital resources are unnecessary; it shows that replacing every physical option could exclude some readers unless the library also provides workable alternatives, such as device lending.
The revised paragraph gives a hypothetical reader a concrete constraint, explains how the policy interacts with it and draws a limited conclusion. It does not claim that every resident has the same problem or invent a statistic about library users.
The acknowledgement of digital resources is useful because it sharpens the argument. Adding “both sides have merit” without explaining the consequences would not do the same work.
Apply the method to your own draft
- Underline the paragraph’s main claim.
- Identify its example or reason. If there is none, supply one you can explain accurately.
- Add the missing connection between the support and the claim.
- Check whether the conclusion goes further than the example permits.
- Remove sentences that repeat the point without developing it.
Next, try a new task under the actual 30-minute writing limit. Use the official Issue guidance to practise responding to different instructions. Keep the first draft and revision separate so you can see which improvements transfer into timed writing.
For applicants in the UAE, writing requirements depend on the programme; do not assume a universal 4.5 minimum. For individual review, see online GRE tutoring for Dubai students. Share the full prompt and timed essay so feedback can address the complete task.